The Lottery

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FlyingPigSoft's Guaranteed Lottery Win Service 

This main product is still in a testing phase. Currently we are able to accurately select all 6 winning numbers every week on the UK's National Lottery draw. The next stage of the development is to be able to predict these same numbers before the draw is held. However, whilst we continue to develop this, how about, also from our Lottery Division: 

FlyingPigSoft's Folk-Club Raffle Winning Service.

Method

Only one Piglet on the night needed to achieve a guarenteed win for you.
The Raffle Bucket need only be just a little larger than your average Piglet.
Raffle bucket must be left on the floor for c. 2 minutes before the draw is held.
The Raffle draw-person must not squeal when handed your ticket by a Piglet.

Notes

During the songs, please leave your drink on the floor, under your chair. Why shouldn't a Piglet enjoy a pint?
Whilst the Piglet is drinking your drink, it would be an ideal opportunity for you to lean under and whisper your ticket number to him.
Don't forget to mention what colour your ticket is too, and to repeat this more slowly after the second pint has been mysteriously consumed.